the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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