; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
