Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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