if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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