lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You pole danced in your parka.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
