i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
