Where did you get a picture of my penis
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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