How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
