Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
