she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
