We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
