Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
