Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
