Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
