did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Every concussion has its silver lining
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
