But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
