When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
