flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
