My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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