I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
