just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
