omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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