i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
