C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
