omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize