I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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