By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
