is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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