in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
