trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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