What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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