Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
