The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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