no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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