you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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