I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
