ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
