Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
