so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
