Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
