We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
