can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
