i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
