I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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