Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
