things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
