i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I will pee on everything he values.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
