he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
