All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
