Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
