yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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