Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize