i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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