never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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