I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
