That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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