Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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