I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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