I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
